A Very Tigerstar Christmas
by InterestingIndeed
Summary: When Santa Claus crash lands and has to rely on his magic to give the next being that comes across him to save Christmas he can only hope he gets a good candidate. Unfortunately the first thing that comes across him is Tigerstar. Can Tigerstar save Christmas? Or is he just too mean? I am so bad at summaries even the fourth wall is ashamed.
1. Prologue: Operation Save Christmas!

It is the Warrior Christmas special! Starting early so we can finish on Christmas eve!

* * *

Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the Warrior's World

Not one creature was stirring

(Oh wait, I lied, there's Shadowclan

SHADOWCLAN RUINED CHRISTMAS)

Kits were all sleeping

All snug in their dens

With visions of warrior ceremonies

Danced through th- OH SCREW THIS RHYMING STUFF, WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?! ?!

Santa Claus squinted through the snow that blocked his sight. Rodoulgh, his trusty red-nosed flashflight- You only wish you had a flashlight this cool- had a cold and his red glow was dim. So much for his headlights. Santa claus sighed and flipped the switch below his dashboard. If he was going to get home in one piece to Mrs. Claus and obey air traffic standards he was going to have to use his actual headlights, the real headlights he'd installed over the summer, not the reindeer.

The headlights glowed to life and the thick cold snowflakes were illuminated in it's brilliant glare. Santa Claus relaxed a little. Now he could find his way, and to think Mrs. Claus had called them a waste. What would Matilda say no? He smiled a little when he imagined the look on his wife's face when he informed her of this! He let out a deep belly laugh, the one he was so famous for.

For a moment, everything was quiet. The only sound was the jingling of the reindeer's harnesses as they jingled along and the whipping of the wind.

Then Santa heard a spluttering sound. He frowned. That was odd. Maybe some turbulence, hopefully that was all. Over the summer the sleigh had just been falling apart. Santa had to call in a specialist to help him fix it for tonight. Fortunately, Clara's uncle was very flexible and a very good mechanic, but still, the sleigh needed to be brought into the shop for repair soon. He put that as a priority in his head.

Then the sleigh jerked, his head lights dimmed. The engine in the back spluttered and the sled jerked once again but more violently. It was all he Santa could do to stay on his sleigh. Up ahead he heard the panicked sounds of his reindeer as they bucked in confusion in fear at the commotion. Then the engine completely died and the sleigh fell like a sack of presents down a chimney, in other words, very fast. Santa made a mental note to mark gravity on the naughty list next year as he groped for a second switch beneath the dashboard. It was the switch right next to the invisibility shield, and the batman theme player. This switch's label read 'OPERATION SAVE CHRISTMAS' and once activated it could not be switched off until it was carried out. It contained the magic to make the next living thing that came in contact with the sleigh Santa Claus until they completed the task of delivering Santa's presents. Santa could only pray he was crash landing next to the right being for the job. Unfortunately he was on a collision course for a black forest and a large dark tom named Tigerstar.


	2. A Radioactive Moose

I got an overwhelming response to continue and update! Thank you so much for reading my stuff and now you know how insane I am. I literally was in bed and this popped in my head and I was all, what the heck? This is the worst idea ever! Needless to say, that also meant I just had to make it into a story. Thanks for reading my prologue and giving me feedback! I really do appreciate it!

* * *

Tigerstar was interrupted from his scheming by a red blur screaming down from the heavens followed by a red and green mass with brown, um, moose, shrieking their heads off. What a beautiful sound. They plummetted toward the Dark Forest and Tigerstar, upset by this disruption but curious all the same watched them fall.

They landed about 200 paw steps away from him with a large crunching noise. The white powdery crap they landed in cushioned their fall. Tigerstar was disappointed. He wanted to see them make pancakes! But, alas, with this friggen powdery white crap the Dark Forest put up around leafbare for some 'Holiday Cheer!' had made pancake making impossible. Tigerstar should really complain. Screw holiday cheer, bah humbug.

Under normal circumstances Tigerstar would have left that mess alone, but they had interrupted his plotting time, and that was an unforgivable act. It was probably a group of new cats trying to stir up some trouble in this gosh danged forest. He got to his paws grumbling that cats have no respect for their elders he went to see who the prankster was and whether or not Tigerstar should rip him to shreds.

He approached the unmoving mass of red. He poked it with his paws. It groaned. One of the moose-mooses, meece, whatever- ran shrieking past him. He happened to notice the red nose. A radioactive moose, and Tigerstar thought he had seen it all. He poked the mass again. This time nothing happened.

Tigerstar should have stopped there. He SHOULD NOT have continued investigating the matter but no, curiousity killed the cat, or in this case, er, cat, a second time. Had Tigerstar known what he was in store for -SPOILER ALERT! He's in store for glitter, red and white cat clothing, fake beards and being happy and cheery- he would have never approached 'it.'

He watched the moose frantically prancing around in utter confusion. Tigerstar watched one slam into a black tree and crumple to the ground with its legs sticking out into the air in all different directions. He concluded that moose were not intelligent creatures.

He was just about to give up on the entire thing when he noticed something under his paw. He lifted his paw up to reveal a crumpled piece of leathery something with little black markings on it that read StarClan only knows what because-let's face it- cats can't read.

Tigerstar squinted down at it. The black markings intrigued him. Was it a note written in secret code? Maybe if he deciphered the code he could use it in his siege against the forest! He would take it to the other Dark Forest cats. Together they'd reveal its secrets. Maybe it concealed some secret he needed to know. What if it revealed Firestar's secret weakness? Tigerstar would bet almost anything it was AXE body spray, but just to be sure he should take it with him… He picked up the note in his mouth and immediately regretted it.

It tasted like absolute dirt, and not the kind you find on the ground. Think about it…

He spat it back out. And began hacking and coughing. In the split second of him throwing up his own lungs, one of the moose ran him over.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING YOU FOXHEART!" Grumbled Tigerstar.

That's when the reindeer stopped dead like it had just been attacked by a monster and turned around to face the grumpy elderly cat.

"And what do you want," Tigerstar grunted.

The reindeer stared at Tigerstar and Tigerstar stared back.

"Are you just going to stand there?" Tigerstar barked. Oh wait, cats can't bark, let's try that again: Tigerstar hissed.

The reindeer opened his bearded muzzle and-

Unfortunately that is where our camera man got hypothermia so here is where we are ending today!

* * *

Do you want to help force Tigerstar into a red suit and pass out gifts?! IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION?! Here's how! Scroll down, down, down, WAIT STOP THAT'S TO FAR DOWN, okay, now up-ish, and SLOW DOWN THERE YOU SPEED DEMON, and then you see the review button? CLICK IT. Write a message about how much you loved the story, tell me you're going to tell Santa Claus to give me coal if I don't write another chapter (I am seriously unmotivated right now) and tell me a few gift ideas for cats. (I need some) You will get mentioned if I use your idea!

TTFN

(Ta-Ta For Now)

-InterestingIndeed


	3. Moose BBQ

Yay for reviews! I've gotten a lot of requests to continue this story and tons of reviews for suggestions! I read every review I get and I love compiling ideas together. I haven't got a definite plan for the story yet but I know how the ending will turn out, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS TO KNOW THAT! HOHOHOHOHO!

Keep reviewing! Seeing as how I have as much motivation to write anything write now- you see what I did there?- I could use the reviews! Special thanks to Daparodymaster for getting me to write this again. Your review was Da best motivation… if you know what I mean. *Wiggles eyebrows*

Halloween rubber ducks for everyone!

Keep it interesting!

-InterestingIndeed

* * *

"You are a cat." The moose said. (I couldn't think of what sound the moose makes. We all now what the fox says but what about the moose? If someone made that I'd be so happy…)

"Well no dirt," Tigerstar growled. "And you're a moose."

The moose blinked. Then he pulled himself up to his full height in an attempt to be intimidating. Intimidation lesson number one: don't wear sparkly jingle bells when trying to look scary. "I am a reindeer, thank you very much." He shook his mane in offense. His sparkly bells jingled and his hair revealed his harness tag that read Vixen.

"Reindeer, moose," Tigerstar rolled his eyes. "Same thing. Both taste good with honey barbeque sauce."

Vixen stomped his hoof in indignation and snorted, his face right in front of Tigerstar's. Steam shot from his nose like a kettle. "You are quite an upstart. And to think I was going to help you." Vixen shook his head again. "I truly hope you are not the one who is destined to save Christmas. You're like 4 grinches rolled inside the body of a cat!"  
Tigerstar felt the back of his fur bristle. "I do not know what a 'grinch' is, nor do I know what this 'Christmas' is but-"

Vixen gasped and stumbled back. "You do not know what CHRISTMAS is?"

"No," Tigerstar growled slowly. He was considering pulling out honey barbeque sauce now and having himself a nice moose stew. This was getting annoying really fast for an evil genius. Plus his paws were growing cold and Starclan knows we couldn't have that.

"Well then I must educate you!" Vixen said.

"You will not be educating me," Tigerstar yowled. "Whatever that means,"

"That's it," The reindeer said with obvious delight and relevation. "I am giving you a dictionary for Christmas."

"A what?"

* * *

It looks like Vixen has decided to teach Tigerstar about Christmas, but will it end in venison barbeque for Christmas dinner? Find out next time on A VERY TIGERSTAR CHRISTMAS!

P.S. I know this chapter was kind of dumb but I wrote it in band class and I wanted to get something out for you guys and do my Spanish homework. I will probably end up redoing it out of guilt, but if you like this one… REVIEW!

I mostly ask you guys to review, but favorite it, or whatevers too if you like!


	4. Yes, let's hold a ballet, starring cats,

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

10:55 AM

I am to lazy to remove the timestamp -.-

* * *

Reviews Q and A!

Have a question? Want to know the meaning of life? Or any aspect about this story? Feel free to ask!

Q: Say, isn't it a little early for a Christmas story?

-Daparodymaster

A: NEVER! Just kidding, it kind of is but obvious you don't know InterestingIndeed. I switch from story to story so the best way to finish something by a deadline is to start 6 months in advance! But I procrastinated so…

Q: Is Santa Claus a cat or person?  
-xXLeafheartXx

A: A person! I literally didn't even think about making him a cat until I read that o.o

Thanks for the ideas! And I left a little message in the reviews too.

* * *

"I AM NOT WATCHING ELF* FOR THE 3000th TIME THIS YEAR!" Yowled Ivypool at Dovewing who held a disc in her jaws. "NEVER AGAIN!"

Dovewing spat out the disc. "Come on, Ivypool!" She pleaded. "The kits love it!"

"Then why did I see Lilykit pretend to throw up when you put it in yesterday?" Ivypool protested. "Snowkit actually did vomit."

"They were sick!"  
"NOPE!" Ivypool yowled. "They were just trying to get out of watching that movie."  
"Then what else are we supposed to do?" Dovewing argued. "We're in charge of holiday cheer!"

"No, you signed me up against my wishes." Ivypool reminded her. "Holiday cheer and Ivypool DO NOT go together!"

"But you have a duty to your clan!" Dovewing tried desperately. She was running out of excuses.

"My duty is hunting and fighting and that stuff, not watching Will Ferrel in a leotard and tights." Ivypool hissed. She tossed her head. "I have a better idea for 'Holiday cheer,'"

Dovewing sighed. Maybe if they did things Ivypool's way she'd be more willing. "What is it?"

"A ballet!" Ivypool meowed excitedly.

"No," Dovewing meowed firmly. "The last we need is kits with access to pointy props."

"Got anything better?" Grumbled Ivypool.

"Maybe…" Dovewing pondered something in her mind, something she'd heard once from Milly who used to be a kittypet about what Twolegs did for 'Holiday Cheer…'

Tigerstar sat there pretending to listen to the moose-excuse me, reindeer- nodding every now and then like he knew what Vixen was braying** about. Tigerstar had no idea who the frick this 'Santa Claus' twoleg was but the whole idea of Christmas sounded like the worst thing known to cat kind.

"And we are in charge of pulling the sleigh all over the world, and a few magical realms, delivering presents to humans everywhere!" Vixen explained. "Now you understand what Christmas is, right?"  
"Yeha, yeah, yeah, I get it," Tigerstar said rolling his eyes. This was getting ridiculous. "Happiness, good cheer, everything I hate, but why are you giving these gifts to two-legs? Most of the two-legs I've come into contact with are rude. And what do you guys get in return?"

Vixen sat there for a moment then brayed. "Stop ruining Christmas with your logical thoughts. Like it or not you'll be delivering Christmas gifts."  
"WHAT?!" Tigerstar yowled. "When did this come up?!"  
"I guess I forgot to tell you," Vixen brayed. "There is magic that binds the first able being to come into contact with Santa if the sleigh goes down to the commitment to deliver presents as Santa Claus."

"And if I don't?" Tigerstar asked.  
"You'd be letting down the hopes and dreams of twolegs everywhere," Vixen brayed dolefully. He looked at Tigerstar with big dough eyes. Tigerstar guessed that was supposed to be cute and all but jokes on him, Tigerstar is a psychopath, he has no emotion.

"Okay then, letting down twolegs everywhere it is!" Tigerstar meowed. "Seeya moose!"

* * *

*Reference to the number of time public schools play Elf on the holidays for their students 'enjoyment'

**Reindeer/moose bray as pointed out to me by Auburnpaw! Thanks a bunch!

* * *

Persuade Tigerstar to save Christmas! (AND ME TO WRITE) Ask questions or just give your overall impressions in the reviews. HELP ME FORCE TIGERSTAR INTO A RED SUIT AND FAKE BEARD!

Oh and I was awarded the October Award of Excellent Writing by Graystorm11! *Reveals Pumpkin shaped medal* Thank you so much! I was so happy when I read that!


	5. The Meaning Of Life!

Q &amp; A!

Primrosebutterfly asks: What is the meaning of life?  
A: Batman, chocolate and cats.

Primrosebutterfly asks: How do Dovewing and Ivypool know about Christmas but not Tigerstar?

A: Ivypool and Dovewing have been talking to Millie. Much against Ivypool's wishes Dovewing told Bramblestar about Christmas. Bramblestar brought it up at the next clan meeting.

Guest asks: Why the warriors celebrating holidays if they are cats in the wild, and have bad interaction with humans?

A: Millie wasn't always a clan cat! She did live with two legs for a while and my guess is that she's lived through at least one Christmas.

That about sums it up!  
OH WAIT NO IT DOESN'T. I WENT ONLINE TO CHECK MY STATS AND GET YOUR QUESTIONS TO WRITE THIS WHEN :O:O:O:O:O I SAW I HAD 224 VISITORS IN ONE DAY FOR THIS STORY AND I WAS LIKE: YYAAAASSSSSSS….

THANK YOU!  
I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Keep it interesting!  
-InterestingIndeed

P.S. Do you think I should stuff Tigerstar into a pink fluffy bunny suit for Easter?

* * *

"How can you say that?!" Gasped the moose, I mean, reindeer. He scrambled back and gave Tigerstar a look that suggested he had something truly offensive like that the Warrior Cats serious sucks or that pizza isn't delicious. "Do you not care about the hopes and dreams of the children? Have you no heart?"

Obviously this moose had no idea who he was talking to. Tigerstar has an empty black hole for a heart, duh. He gives no mice about the crying of small two-leg kits. Actually, he would probably pay to see that!

"I'm dead, I have no use for a heart," Growled Tigerstar. "Now scram! And take your radio active friends with you!"

"Please!" Begged Vixen. "Surely you can spare just one day of kindness?" Vixen tried making those cute reindeer eyes at Tigerstar. Do you think it worked? If you guessed no, you win a cookie!

Tigerstar rolled his eyes and began stalking off.

Vixen scrambled after him. "Come on! Wait! You have to do it!" He brayed desperately, fighting through the fake snow crap towards Tigerstar. "You have to!"  
"Why should I?" Tigerstar wheeled around abruptly to face the reindeer. Their noses were almost touching. Let's make a few things very clear about dear old Tigerstar. He had a face only a mother could love. (And I can hear Leapardfoot-I think that's her name… was that her name?- from StarClan saying 'AW HECK TO THE NO! I NEVER LOVED HIM!) Secondly, Tigerstar really doesn't have the bone structure for that scar. Thirdly, -If thirdly is a word…- His fangs were so yellow crayola made a new crayon color: Tigerstar's fang yellow. Finally he didn't have the best breath, being dead and all. Vixen backed up tentively a few hoof steps.

"Uh," He stammered. "Umm…"  
"Well?" Tigerstar asked. "Why should I be 'Santa Claws'? Give me one good reason!"

Ivypool was still banging her head against the rocks when Dovewing returned with Firestar. Dovewing had the WORST idea ever! Who in StarClan is Santa Claus?

She continued to bang her head against the rocks as Dovewing explained her idea.

"And so we'll call Santa Claws and he'll listen to what the kits want for Christmas, and then on Christmas eve, he'll come and deliver presents!" Dovewing was positively ecstatic. She was hopping from paw to paw with pure excitement. It made Ivypool sick.

"Hmmm…" Firestar considered the idea. Was he seriously considering this? "Let me think…" No way he was actually doing this. "It sounds like a plan!"

Ivypool stopped banging her head into the rocks and stared in shocked fury at Firestar.

"And I think the carolers and holiday treats are a good idea too!" Firestar added.

Ivypool groaned and began contemplating where the nearest cliff was and if she would die immediately if she jumped off.

"This sounds wonderful!" Dovewing purred in excitement. "Should I send a patrol to pick up the supplies and spread the word?"

Please no. Please no. Please no.

"Absolutely!" Firestar answered.

"ARGGGHHH!" Ivypool cried out. She could take the joy anymore! She slammed her head into the nearest pile of rocks so hard she was knocked unconscious.

* * *

Thank you so much for stuffing Tigerstar into a red suit! Also thank you so much for all of your ideas! I've gotten everything from gift ideas to future events. You guys are the best! *HUGS*

My question for you: should I drag StarClan into this?

My other question for you: Have you ever had eggnog? (I will answer this question next chapter!)

P.s: THANK YOU!

Quote of the day: "You are only as happy as you believe yourself to be, or as much chocolate as you can shove into your mouth." -?


	6. The Grinch is Jayfeather

I CALL THE TIGERSTAR IN AN EASTER BUNNY SUIT. I CALL DIBS. NO ONE TAKE IT. AND ALSO BROKENSTAR FOR CUPID.

BROKENSTAR IS RUNNING FOR CUPID.

Empress Tansy, you are an evil genius! Cookies and eggnog for you!

Eggnog and cookies for Graystorm11 and Primrosebutterfly, the two people that answer my QOTD! My answer is yes, I do drink eggnog!

And winning my favorite comment of all time is Queen Rebelle!  
I SHALL HELP YOU! *stuff Tigerstar into a red suit*

Tigerstar: help!  
SHUT IT YA POOP HEAD

I laughed in the middle of class and almost got in trouble!

Anyways I just realized I need to fix a few things: This is SUPPOSED to happen before the end of The Final Hope when *muffled spoiler revealed censor bar* So This is supposed to be Firestar. If you excuse me, I have a few chapters to fix!

Back to the story!

Keep it Interesting!

-InterestingIndeed

* * *

"Cheer and happiness my left paw!*" Grumbled Jayfeather. So far holiday cheer was not going over well with Jayfeather. His moronic Gary Stew of a brother, Lionblaze, was all for it. Lionblaze had been on the patrol to find Christmas supplies and-unfortunately- had discovered carols and eggnog. He dashed about camp yowling carols at the top of his lungs often times changing the words to twist the meaning. Jayfeather could hear his yowling from hear.

"JINGLE BELLS,

TIGERSTAR SMELLS,

HAWKFROST LAID AN EGG,

THE CAT MOBILE LOST A WHEEL,

AND FIRESTAR GOT AWAY."

The problem wasn't about Lionblaze changing the words, it was about his singing. He was actually a good singer, as well as a good fighter, and a good everything else except brother. It was enough to make Jayfeather pull an Ivypool. Ivypool had gotten overwhelmed by good cheer and slammed her head into a rock knocking herself out. She was fine but it made Jayfeather even more suspicious of the whole 'Joy and hope!' regime. It could be dangerous!

I mean, who wants warriors knocking themselves out over 'Christmas?' Maybe he could call it off because it was too dangerous. Jayfeather had a feeling Firestar wouldn't go for it.

"Hey Jayfeather!" Called Lionblaze.

Don't come in don't come in don't come in don't come in don't come in don't come in don't come in don't come in.

"Jayfeather!" Lionblaze pranced into the medicine cat den.

He came in.

"What?" Growled Jayfeather.

"Come on!" Lionblaze urged. "Come join us all for some carols and eggnog!"

"Hmmm…" Jayfeather pretended to ponder this offer. "Stay inside my warm den or go out into the freezing cold, slurp eggnog, and yowl dumb carols out. Thanks but I think I'll pass."

"Oh come on," Lionblaze meowed. "Don't be such a grinch! In fact I found a perfect carol!" Lionblaze cleared his throat.

"Oh StarClan no!" Groaned Jayfeather. He knew what was coming next.

"YOU'RE A MEAN ONE!  
JAYFEATHER!  
YOU REALLY ARE A- uh - GRUMP!"

"ARGGGGHHH!" Jayfeather yowled and rammed his head into the nearest wall.

"Give me one good reason!" Tigerstar yowled. "ANY GOOD REASON, And I'll do it."

Vixen eye's widened. "Uh, uh, uh" He scrambled around for a reason why. "Good health care?"  
"I'm dead, why would I need health care?" Tigerstar asked.

"Fair enough." Vixen brayed. "A reward?"  
"What type of reward?" Asked Tigerstar, intrigued.

"Anything you want," Vixen said hurriedly. "We can make anything for you."

"Anything?"  
Vixen didn't like the malicious gleam in Tigerstar's eyes. Obviously this cat had one bad plan in mind, but he was desperate. They needed Christmas to happen!  
"Anything." He promised even though alarm bells were ringing everywhere that yeah, this cat is an evil psychopath.

* * *

*Eggnog and anti-christmas Jayfeather suggested by: Shira the Mage

Jayfeather demanded by: Stream that Flows Around Rock and every fan girl everywhere.

Hey guys! I am going to try and start updating this daily, but now that I've said, or well, typed it that might not happen. EVERYONE KNOCK ON WOOD!

SO I am going to fixing all my chapters!

QOTD: What's your favorite Christmas Carol?

Quote:

I SHALL HELP YOU! *stuff Tigerstar into a red suit*

Tigerstar: help!  
SHUT IT YA POOP HEAD

-Queen Rebelle

Should I make Lionblaze's Chapter of Christmas Carols?


	7. Lionblaze's Christmas Carols!

Have a great warrior themed Christmas carol? Suggest it below or PM me and you may get featured in Lionblaze's Christmas Carols! Once a week, I will make another special chapter of A Very Tigerstar Christmas for Lionblaze's Christmas Carols and feature our favorites! If this takes off I will make Lionblaze's Holiday songbook.

RULES FOR SONGS:  
All songs must have a Warriors theme!  
All songs must be actual Christmas songs!  
All songs must be kid friendly, remember, if you wouldn't sing it for a kit, don't post it!

* * *

Song Number 1

Deck The Dens, in caps minor* (It was originally halls but I decided to change it to dens! Also it was all in caps, so I changed it to 'caps minor')

By: Graystorm11

Deck the dens with yummy catmint!

Fa-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la!

Tis' the season to eat snow hares!

Fa-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la!

Don we now our fluffy fur coats!

Fa-la-la, La-la-la, Fa-la-la!

Yowl the ancient kitty carol!

Fa-la-la-la-la, La-la, La, la!

* * *

Song Number 2

Jingle Bells (Tigerstar smells)

By: InterestingIndeed

Jingle bells! Tigerstar smells!

Hawkfrost laid an egg!

The Cat mobile lost a wheel,

And Firestar got away!

* * *

Looking for the actual story? No worries! I am going to post it later! 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

:D

Stay safe, don't take candy from Tigerstar, and have fun!

Keep it Interesting!

-InterestingIndeed


	8. 2 Drums and a Cymbal fell off a Sleigh

I saw we had 54 reviews on my story.

54.

54.

54.

GUYS DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH OF AN ACCOMPLISHMENT THIS IS?

I am literally on top of the world right now. Thank you guys so much! I AM SO HAPPY!

Who would have known that forcing Tigerstar into a red suit would be such a great idea?

Hope you had a Happy Halloween! It snowed where I am and that was interesting indeed. (You see what I did there?)

Keep it Interesting!

-InterestingIndeed

* * *

Tigerstar didn't like the whole dressing up thing. Dressing up was a kittypet thing! He was supposed to be a fearsome warrior who had plans to take over the forest, and then the world. Now he was reduced to a very angry cat in a red suit with a fake beard. (If someone could find/draw me a picture of this I would be so happy… XD)

"Perfect!" Vixen brayed excitedly.

"I feel like a kittypet," Tigerstar growled. "I look ridiculous."

"Nonsense, you look handsome!" Vixen said waving a hoof in the air* as if he was waving away Tigerstar's comment.

Tigerstar was one bite away from have venison for lunch. This moose was seriously getting on his last undead nerve. How could they not realize his pain?

"Okay," Tigerstar growled. "What now?"

"Well," Vixen thought. "You'll probably be called to hear the wishes of kits, since you're a cat and all."

"Wait a minute," Tigerstar meowed. "You said it was about twolegs."

"Well it is," Vixen said as he examined a hoof. "But we reindeer can do that ourselves. I really do need a manicure."

"Woah," Tigerstar growled. "You mean I have to deliver presents to cats?"

"Basically," Vixen shrugged. "I think the first I'll do when I get home is get a manicure."

"So how do I deliver presents?" Tigerstar asked. Maybe there was some express way he could do it.  
"Oh my silly kitty!" Vixen chortled. "How you do humor me! You have to know what people want before you can give it to them!"

Tigerstar bit back a snarl. This moose was really pushing his limits. First he crash landed with his other moosey friends then demanded he become Santa Claus and now was calling him Kitty? He was really on the road to Tigerstar's Annual 'We will take over the Warrior's World!' Fund raising barbeque and he would not be a guest of honor. He'd be a stew of delicious.

"And how do I know what they want?" He asked through his jaws.

"You visit them of course!" Vixen brayed. "Of course, you'll need to take some elves."

"Some what?" Tigerstar asked.

"Elves!" Vixen looked flabbergasted. "Please don't tell me you don't have elves here!"

"Okaaaayyy," Tigerstar meowed dryly. "I won't tell you we don't have whatever you just said, er, brayed."

"You don't have elves!" Vixen looked on the edge of a nervous mouse break down. Could moose have break downs? Suddenly he straightened himself up. "Never mind, I can find some elves."

Vixen raised his head and made some sounds that sounded like a queen in labor. Instantly the 8 other moose stopped freaking out. The entire time the two animals had been talking the moose had been freaking out. In the background eight moose had been scampering around frantically, running I trees, having mini seizures and braying loudly in the background. It had been really, really awkward. I mean, imagine eight moose freaking out in your backyard? What had been really weird for Tigerstar was when they brayed a few words in cat.

"MY MOTHER IS ICE-CREAM!"  
"SOCKS! SOCKS! SOCKS!"  
"LIONBLAZE IS A MARY-SUE!"  
"ME ENCANTADO SOUPA DE MESA! SOUPA DE MESA MUY BEIN!"

Tigerstar wasn't sure about that last one but as soon as Vixen brayed to them they snapped to attention. The radioactive one stepped forward.

"Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blixen, and of course myself, Rudolph, reporting for duty sir." The red nosed moose raised a hoof to his face in salute and of course as he did so did all the other moose.

"At ease my good reindeer," Vixen brayed good naturedly. "As senior reindeer commander I am the general of the Claus Reindeer Squad."

Now that Tigerstar looked closer he saw that each moose wore a green and red harness covered in bells and a large patch that identified their names and the letters CRS shone proudly in gold embossed letters.

"What do you guys do?" Tigerstar chuckled. "Fly by present delivery?"

From off the sleigh a pair of toy drums and a crash symbol tumbled down making a Da-dun-dun-shh!

The reindeer first glanced at the drums then stared at Tigerstar quizzically.

"This is the most interesting cat I've ever met." Vixen brayed to the other moose. "Meet my friend, and our temporary Santa Claus, Tigerstar."

* * *

*WAVE YOU HOOVES IN THE AIR LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE!

* * *

Okay so I just took my spanish final! AND GOT A 196 OUT OF 200! YAY!  
So I mean to post everyday this week but then I realized oh yeah, finals! So here you go!

QOTD: Who's your favorite reindeer?

AOTD: (To favorite Christmas carol) Candy Cane Lane! We sang it in my women's choir and it's really cool!

A lot of people answered for their favorite carols! I will post the results in the next chapter!

BAI!

-InterestingIndeed


	9. Soy es muy perezosa

I was super lazy and didn't even start the chapter... but I do need your help! I am going to post the actual chapter either today or tomorrow and take this one down. I was about to actually start writing it now but realized I forgot to get the **elf nominations up**! I want you guys to vote for some evil cats to be _**Tigerstar's elves**_! You can enter any _**dark forest warrior**_. If they aren't from the dark forest I won't take them! I am going to tally the results and make the elves out of the **top 3 or 4 cats!**! WOOOOOO!

(PS: I just got back from this church retreat and I am on this **massive Jesus high** and I just need to calm down but _YAY JESUS!_! _***HUGS EVERYONE***_ And if you're not a christian or if you don't believe in God I am still going to hug you because you're a person and I think you're wonderful. **\^-^/**_** *HUGS***_)

Remember! You're perfect and special and wonderful! \^-^/

And never let anyone tell you otherwise \^-^/

And if they do, BURN THEM oWo

Keep it Interesting!

-InterestingIndeed


	10. Dovewing's Getting Nothing For Christmas

It's November! And by that I mean no-vember and by that I mean I got grounded. Get it? No-vember? Yeah, I don't like it either. So that is why I haven't been posting as much. I can only post and write in the allotted free time, which is limited, but no worries! We can still shove Tigerstar into a red suit!

Okay so I posted a chapter asking for votes for some elves and I was planning on waiting to write this until after I got some votes but you guys do deserve it so I am keeping this in the real world. Voting is still ongoing! I will post the names of all who vote after the voting is complete.

Rankings

Mapleshade- 7

Brokenstar- 5

Thistleclaw-3

Darkstripe- 3

Redwillow- 1

Breezepelt- 1

Scrouge- 1

Review of the day: "Drag StarClan into this? [An insane amount of elipsis later…] DUDE. TOTALLY." -IvyleafHollypool

And earlier I began freaking out because I thought I was saying Hollyleaf instead of Dovewing in here and I and I was all 'OH DIRT!' Fortunately not the case. Also I was on a church retreat and I am crashing from a Jesus High. Ah, nothing like Blood Warrior- which FYI is the new Starkit's Prophecy- to make you realize how terrible the world is.

Also I found something called When Mom Isn't Home AKA Kid Plays Oven Vine and I have it on replay in the background. XD

Ah the holiday season. Twolegs have varying opinions on it. Twoleg kits see it as a time of joy and presents. Twoleg adults see it as a time of stress. Heaven for one side, Heck for the other. So was it for the clans. Dovewing and Lionblaze were in complete bliss over the idea of holiday cheer and happiness and presents meanwhile Jayfeather and Ivypool were in a complete nightmare of eggnog, holiday cheer, carols, and giggling kits. Ivypool wondered if her Dovewing had any sanity left. It was confirmed she did not on December 23rd, not that Ivypool knew what date it was. Cats don't know about months and dates, but that's besides the point.

"You did WHAT?" Ivypool yowled at her sister.

"Yup!" Dovewing cheered. "I used Willowshine to contact StarClan and tell them to get a hold of Santa Claws to visit our kits tonight! Isn't it exciting?!"

"NO!" Yowled Ivypool. "It is not exciting! If anything this is your worst idea ever! And that is saying something!"

"Are you saying my ideas are terrible?" Dovewing asked swishing her tail in indignation.

"Well, yeah!" Ivypool yowled.

"They are not!" Dovewing spat.

"Are too!"  
"Name one bad idea!" Dovewing challenged.

"Putting coffee beans in with poppy seeds," Ivypool meowed without hesitation.

"That was one time!" Dovewing protested.

"And the time you thought it would be fun to lick frozen sticks." Ivypool continued.

"I didn't know your tongue would stick to it!" Dovewing countered.

"And the time you gave Lionblaze a collection of M rated fan fictions?" She asked. "You did that 4 times at least."

"No!" Dovewing lied.

"Let's just say your ideas suck." Ivypool meowed and turned to stalk off.

"Well it wasn't my idea to be a Dark Forest Warrior!" Dovewing yowled.

Ivypool stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face Dovewing. Dovewing knew she'd gone too far this time.

"What did you just say?" Ivypool meowed slowly, venemosly. (If that is an adjective)

"Nothing," Squeaked Dovewing.

"It was not 'nothing'" Spat Ivypool. "I've taken a lot of grief from you but that's it! I've had it!" And without warning, Ivypool lunged. And that's the story of how Squirrelflight walked in on Ivypool wrapping up Dovewing and trying to stick her under the tree.

Ivypool's Grocery List

Wrapping paper

Duct tape (Preferably with snowmen on it)

Super Glue

Ribbon

Sorry about this being super small. I want to make it bigger but I wrote this on the way to school and didn't have time to make it super long and funny.

New Lionblaze's Carols coming out hopefully soon!

Happy Thanksgiving!  
AIEEEEEEE! I am going to the Winter Formal at my school because by some miracle some guy asked me out. Now I have to find a dress and FYI I am size negative 2. I am a really petite person like super small. So of course no store around here has dresses in my size so I do what every girl does: I went to Google. I found these really cute fun dresses that are called bubble skirts. They poof out and go down to the knee and most of the time the top part is sequiny and sparkly and in case you didn't notice I'm a fun loving person so this style of dress is perfect! BUT we can't have dresses like that because they're to 'revealing.' (FYI I go to a Catholic School) #CatholicProblems.


	11. HOLY SMOKES WE'RE HALFWAY DONE!

As I sit here, typing, sucking on a Dr. Pepper candy cane, enjoying the peace after a 7 hour car ride from Dark forest I realize we only have 25 days until Christmas. Twenty five days left of stuffing Tigerstar into a big red suit. :O

* * *

Elf Rankings

Mapleshade- 8

Brokenstar- 6

Thistleclaw-3

Darkstripe- 4

Hawkfrost- 2

Redwillow- 1

Breezepelt- 1

Scrouge- 1

A Grumpy Dustpelt- 1

Jayfeather did not like the Christmas tree. They had chosen a pine tree near Jayfeather's garden which meant that all his herbs had been smashed into an unusable pulp. Pine needles were scattered every where. It filled the entire forest with a piney scent that was somehow amplified and which meant everywhere Jayfeather went that tree's scent followed him. Circling the tree like a vulture of cheery doom was a train that whistled at random and played Christmas Carols 24/7. Jayfeather wanted to smash it, then throw it in the dirt place. And don't even get him started on what was actually on the tree.

The tree had been decorated with colored baubles from Walmart with other weird shaped ornaments. Some were shaped like animals, others like snowflakes, and some like this weird two leg in a red suit and a beard. Jayfeather had been told it was Santa Claus, that dreaded merry maker of 'cheer.'

Besides the Santa Claus ornaments, there were cat shaped ones. Jayfeather found these ornaments even more insulting than the Santa Claus ornaments. Dovewing had tried to find ornaments that matched all the cats in the clan. Ivypool had said not to bother getting her one because she'd be gone if they kept this up. Dovewing still got her one anyway. Dovewing had not chosen very well. They didn't even look like cats, let alone individuals in the clan. All they looked like was kitty pets wearing red hats and batting balls of yarn and hanging on lights. Jayfeather's alter ego of an ornament was wearing a collar, a collar! If Firestar hadn't already banned him from doing in, Jayfeather would have ripped that tree to shreds.

What else was wrong with the tree? The mother, freaking, lights. Since no one could agree on the color for the lights, they got all the colors available. So the tree was a shining, twinkling, rainbow disco tree. Some of the lights flashed, some were always lit, some changed color, some stayed the same, some were white, some were multicolored, and others were neon. No matter what it was a blinding flare of the reminder of this dreaded holiday. Even though he was blind, in his dreams he could see it, and that was enough.

What else around the clan had been decorated? In the center of the clan Dovewing had set up a Christmas village. Mini Twoleg nests with fake two legs set up doing various actions, like skating on a pond, sledding down a hill, and dancing. Dovewing loved that village. When she thought no one was looking she played with the two legs, making them move and talk. Unfortunately it was positioned right outside Jayfeather's den.

The training hallow had been made to be a Christmas Heck, I mean, wonderland. It was filled with fake snow and fake snowmen and fake igloos. The fake igloos served as a playground for kits but was used by every cat. It was really embarrassing to see your own brother slide down the plastic slide on his belly shouting 'FOR NARNIA!' at the top of his lungs. A hill had been made from the fake snow and cats would sled down it on pieces of bark. This was supposed to be fun. Jayfeather considered putting it down in his 'Ways Everyone is Torturing Me' book, right next to 'Finding out my parents are not my real parents.' As if this wasn't enough, in the middle of all of it a red and green throne was set up with a banner that read 'Welcome Santa Claus!'

Most cats were excited. The queens watched their kits slide down the slide and pelt each other with fake snow and chatted excitedly. The apprentices played 'Who Can Rip the Most Tinsel from the Trees.' (Which Jayfeather may have or may not have encouraged) Warriors went 'Caroling,' which was patrol except with eggnog and singing and had snowball fights. Lionblaze enjoyed targeting Jayfeather during these spars, which meant Jayfeather steered clear of this new game.

Not all cats were as excited as everyone else. Ivypool hissed at all the decorations and did her best to be as grumpy as possible. Twice, she had climbed the big trees, smashing ornaments and ripping out lights until Firestar had banned her. Then she sulked in her den, until Dovewing had decorated the place. Tinsel, lights, mistletoe, The whole thing. Ivypool threatened to strangle Dovewing with garland if she didn't stop.

Jayfeather just couldn't believe the insanity of it all.

* * *

I felt like Jayfeather this weekend because we put up the Christmas tree. It involved a lot of screaming, yelling, and broken ornaments!

QOTD: Are you Jayfeather and Ivypool or Dovewing and Lionblaze?

Next year's Christmas Story Title: to revealed on Christmas day!


	12. I broke my rib!

MY STOMACH FEELS LIKE A DINSOSAUR IS RIPPING OUT MY INSIDES OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

:O

NOOOOOOO!

D:

PAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNN

D:

BUT I MUST FIGHT THROUGH IT SO GUYS CAN HAVE YOUR STORY BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU GUYS

QOTD: What's the worst pain you've ever felt? BECAUSE MINE IS THIS.

* * *

UPDATE

That was written December 1st! It is now December 8th and here's why I didn't write! So there has been whooping cough going around my school and I might have it and I coughed so hard I may have fractured a rib! Yurp! Here is a short chapter describing the elf winners!

* * *

Tigerstar actually felt sorry for Mapleshade, Brokenstar, Thistleclaw, Darkstripe, and Scrouge. As ridiculous as Tigerstar felt in his red suit it was not even close to the humiliation these cat were going through. They wore matching red and green sequins suits and fake elf ears. Jingle bells were sewn into the costume and the rattled merrily as any of the cats walked. Scrouge's bone collar had removed because it wasn't 'family friendly' and was replaced with a glittery jingle bell version. Mapleshade looked like she was ready to go on a slay ride. (Get it? Slay ride? Sleigh ride? No? Ok...) Brokenstar looked like he wanted to break some cat. Thistleclaw and Darkstripe... well... They were suffering from a cheer and joy overload. Literally.

* * *

MORE LATER

-InterestingIndeed


	13. Here comes TigerClaus

Hello my wonderful Tigerstar hating readers! Thank you for being so patient! I was freaking out that you guys would be angry that I couldn't post anything so thanks for being nice and not all meeeehhhhh. I'll make sure Santa knows how awesome you all are!

Well, it turned out not to be a broken rib, or whooping cough. I did bruise my rib or something like that, but no whooping cough! Yay? Anyways, after 1 bruised rib, some really bad seasonal allergies, 1 doctor's appointment, 2 stalker(ish) parents, (They had an app on their phone that connected to a camera positioned in the baby's crib and they could literally watch their son sleep, ooookkkkaaayyyy) a case of mild recurring impetigo, bronchitis, and the flu I am back! Oh, and I have decided that December is not my month.

GUESS WHAT? We reached 100 reviews! YAY!

-InterestingIndeed

* * *

"Tigerstar," Vixen brayed excitedly, "We present your new elves!"

Tigerstar actually felt sorry for Mapleshade, Brokenstar, Thistleclaw, Darkstripe, and Scrouge. As ridiculous as Tigerstar felt in his red suit it was not even close to the humiliation these cat were going through. They wore matching red and green sequins suits and fake elf ears. Jingle bells were sewn into the costume and the rattled merrily as any of the cats walked. Scrouge's bone collar had removed because it wasn't 'family friendly' and was replaced with a glittery jingle bell version. Mapleshade looked like she was ready to go on a slay ride. (Get it? Slay ride? Sleigh ride? No? Ok...) Brokenstar looked like he wanted to break some cat. Thistleclaw and Darkstripe... well... They were suffering from a cheer and joy overload. Literally. Thistleclaw was all wide-eyed and confused at the new decor of sparkles and holiday cheer. Darkstripe was trying to chew the jingle bells off of his costume. He ripped and clawed at them fruitlessly.

"What do you think?" Vixen was so excited that he looked like he was ready for take off. "Aren't they darling?"

"I'll show you darling!" Spat Mapleshade furiously. "What in the world have you gotten us into? Literally!"

"I'll explain later, but I promise you," Tigerstar meowed. "It will be so worth it."

"It better because I am going to rip your fur off!" Mapleshade yowled.

"And I'll help!" Brokenstar hissed. "I can't believe this!"

"My collar," Whispered Scrooge. "Where is my collar?" He was in shock from being separated from his most beloved.

"Well," Vixen brayed. "I would love to watch the rest of this _**cat fight** _but you need to hurry!"

"Hurry where exactly?" Tigerstar asked.

"Well before we can deliver all the presents you have to listen to what the kids want of course!" Vixen exclaimed like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You simply have the kits sit on your lap and tell you what they want for Christmas. It's really easy."

"I have to do what?" Tigerstar asked almost wondering, well more like hoping, if he had hallucinated that entire sentence.

"I know you aren't deaf Tigerstar," Vixen chuckled. "I am sure you will be a perfect natural. Now you really should get going." Vixen stretched his legs. "We need to get going, my legs are all stiff from teaching about the joys of Christmas."

"And how are we supposed too-" Mapleshade spat but halfway through her sentence a deathly cold breeze blew across the gathered cats and suddenly they were in a clearing, a familiar clearing.

"WELCOME SANTA CLAUS!" A loud choir of squeaky mews rang.

"Oh dirt place." Whispered Tigerstar as he surveyed the crowd of kits eagerly looking at him with wide expectant eyes.

"Santa!" Meowed a gray cat padding towards him. "I am Dovewing of ThunderClan." From behind him he heard a sharp intake of breath from Mapleshade. If Dovewing had heard it she gave no sign. Instead she continued and meowed excitedly. "Have heard of the clans?"

Mapleshade shoved forward and opened her mouth to speak, or attack, either way, but before she could meowed a single phrase out Tigerstar Stomped his paw with his claws extended into her paw.

"Of course we've heard of the clans!" Tigerstar meowed. "I am Santa after all!"

"Oh!" Dovewing meowed. "I guess that saves me a great deal of explanation. Now let's go over our arrangements..."

* * *

Okay I finally buckled down and wrote this gosh darn son of a Tigerstar! I really hope you like it though I feel as though it isn't as funny as the others because I am not in my form. After beating the flu I developed this really bad bronchitis. Apparently my area has been facing a lot of sickness. My friend's little brother once had only 7 kids in his class show up one day because the other 20 or so kids were all sick. Today we had 85 kids out sick or sent home because they were sick. I think it is official to say December is not my month.

I swear we are going to finish this series by Christmas! I am working my tail off to make it happen!

Keep it Interesting!  
-InterestingIndeed


	14. Mapleshade works in disembowelment

Hey! Here's the part you've all been waiting for, Tigerstar listens to kit's Christmas wishes! Oh boy!

* * *

As it turns out Vixen was right, Tigerstar was a natural, if natural meant making 2 young kits cower in fear at the sight of his most unpleasant scowl when they asked for magic unicorns. Tigerstar really wasn't cut out to be Santa Claus, as he found out after listening to each kit's dearest Christmas wish. Some of theses requests he thought were ridiculous and didn't mind making his opinions known. He actually laughed out loud when one kit informed him of his burning desire to own a cactus. Seriously, a cactus. Tigerstar knew he should be more... jolly if he wanted his plan to succeed, but Tigerstar doesn't do jolly, so there.

"And what do you want for Christmas?" He asked a small kit who sat on his lap bouncing away like a kangaroo.

"I want to be a great warrior when I grow up." He meowed feverishly.

"You sure you don't want a pony?" Tigerstar asked gruffly. Usually it was either a pony, a bike, or a doll, every now and then you got a think for yourself, like mr. Cactus lover over there. That and if he was actually expected to deliver these gifts, he needed to make them, you know, deliverable. He could always get a recruiter to this guy and have him help take over the world. Maybe this kit was actually really evil inside. Hmmm...

"Nope!" The kit meowed back.

"Uh, okay then," Tigerstar meowed. "I'll out it on my to-do list. Merry Christmas or whatever." Vixen would disapprove of how lack-a-daisical he was being but there was no weird moose to boss him around now, so HA! Tigerstar could technically kill every cat here and not have any consequences to it all, but no, for his plan to work he had to be this stupid Santa Claus. He couldn't wait until he could rip this dumb costume to shreds.

"Oh boy!" The Kit squeaked as he jumped off Tigerstar's lap and ran to join his litter mates in plastic ice world happy kit land.

The clans had all converged here in ThunderClan to celebrate Christmas. They had set up a 'Meet with Santa' place for kits to give Santa their Christmas lists and after meeting Santa Claus kits were herded off to a play area with fake snow and ice castles and stuff. Thistleclaw was there, pelting all the kits with Snowballs. Tigerstar was so proud of him. Next there was an arts and crafts station with Mapleshade and Scrooge. Scrooge was teaching all the kits how to make a guillotine. So far 2 kits had successful split Frosty in half. Then there was Caroling with Darkstripe. Did you know cats can't sing? You do now.

Mapleshade stalked up next Tigerstar. "I don't what you are doing," She growled in his ear. "But I have glitter in all the wrong places in this costume and I intend to strangle you when we get back to the dark forest." Tigerstar didn't like the sound of that threat.

"Merry Christmas to you too," Tigerstar growled back. How he would have loved to just pummel her for her little threat but he was Santa Claus and he couldn't just murder her and then turn around and go "Ho ho ho, and what do you want for Christmas little kit?" For one thing there would be no kits, he couldn't let any witnesses survive. For another how would he get the blood out of the white fur? It would be impossible.

"Oh Santa Claus!" Dovewing meowed. She was herding another kit up to him. "I have your next kit!"

The kit stared at Mapleshade who looked as happy as a clam being roasted alive. "Who dat?" She asked Dovewing.

"One of Santa Claus elves who make all the toys." Dovewing explained excitedly. "Right Santa Claus?"

"Oh, er umm, Yeah," Tigerstar grumbled.

"What exactly do you do in your workshop thing? And what's your name?" The kit asked innocently. Tigerstar hated innocent looking kits. He knew what little monsters they really were.

"Maplesh-" Mapleshade was about to growl but Tigerstar cut her off.

"Her name is Maplelight," He hurriedly interrupted and Mapleshade shot him a look of pure malice. "Go on Maplelight. Tell the kit your department."

"Disembowelment." Maplsh- er, Maplelight growled bluntly. Both Dovewing and the kit looked taken a back.

"She means disentanglement!" Tigerstar corrected. "Untangling all the strings of all the umm stuff, yes."

"Oh," Dovewing looked relieved yet a little wary. "For a second there I thought she actually meant disembowelment."

"What's disembowling?" The kit asked all sweetly.

"Nothing," Tigerstar grunted and hurriedly grabbed the kit by the scruff of the neck and hoisted her on his lap, a little roughly, and that wasn't an accident, he would admit to that at least. Just because he was forced to be this jolly good doer didn't mean he couldn't be mean sometimes. "Now what do you want for Christmas little kit?"

* * *

I again feel like I could have done better but I don't have a lot of time to do this, I am sorry!

Christmas break is coming up soon so hopefully I can make better chapters then!

Keep it Interesting!  
-InterestingIndeed


	15. Lampshade Hats!

I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T POST! OMG FORGIVE MY SOUL!  
HERE  
TAKE THIS  
I AM SO SORRY

Tigerstar rummaged through all the boxes in the attic. He was really regretting not labeling them now. Well, they did have labels, but they were all labeled 'Crap', 'More Crap', and 'Stuff.' Now he had to manually search through each box and take out all the items that were useless. He plunged his paw to one and pulled out a small gray fuzzy thing. He squinted at it, turning it over and over again trying to figure out what it was. It was so matted and worn that he couldn't tell which side was the front or the back or what. Finally he deduced it was a stuffed animal. (A stuffed Cinderheart to be exact)

He closed that box and moved to the next one. As he bumped it to it the box made a jingly noise. Being the paranoid old cat that he was Tigerstar leapt backwards into a lamp which in turn toppled a bunch of boxes. He swore loudly. Now he was going to have to sort through all those contents and shove them back into boxes THEN resort it into what was useable, but first he approached the perpetrator, reluctantly of course.

He opened the box to find something red, white, and glittery. Though he had a suspicion its contents would pull out old memories he pulled out the fabric. It was large, red, and white, and it came with a large beard. It was only too late that Tigerstar realized what it was: The old Santa Suit. Tigerstar once again leapt backwards into that lamp and cowered behind a box. When poked his head out from behind it he was wearing the lampshade like a hat. He slowly approached the box and poked it with one paw. It jingled softly, but nothing else happened. He breathed a sigh of relief. At least this time he'd never have to see-

"HOW DO YOU DO TIGERSTAR?!" Something brayed. Tigerstar once leapt backwards into a box full of those styrofoam beads. Of course they stuck to his fur from all the static.

"Y-y-ou!" Spluttered Tigerstar trying to climb out of the box.

"Yes me!" Vixen brayed affectionately and pranced over to the box.

"HOW DID YOU GET HERE?" Yowled Tigerstar.

"You do remember my parting gift to you?" Vixen asked. His hoofs were bejeweled with green and red glitter. "The bell that if it rings will summon me to your side so we can have more adventures together!" Vixen seemed to be overjoyed at the prospect of fun and merriment. Tigertstar looked like the only fun he was going to have was if he drowned himself.

"How about no." Tigerstar growled eyeing the large pile of crap. He was trying decide which item would be most useful in a suicide attempt.

"Can you at least share the final details of the story with all the readers you disappointed?" Vixen asked. He made big dough reindeer eyes. "I won't leave until you say it."

Tigerstar sighed. "Fine! Give me a moment."

* * *

HA HA I WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME

NOT REALLY

I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER  
I FEEL SO BAD TOO

D:

Keep it Interesting!

-InterestingIndeed

PS: Review how much you want to choke me with Tigerstar's new lampshade hat!

LAMPSHADE HATS ARE THE NEWEST FASHION! WE SHALL RIDE TO VICTORY WEARING THE GLORIOUS LAMPSHADE!


	16. Mapleshade the jingly elf

Update: I didn't even finish this story and it's been over a year I am a terrible person so you know what I'm finishing it. If you remember me I so sorry if you don't and are new, I should have the next chapter up soon. Until then, please enjoy a mini story about Mapleshade the elf cat. This is more of an inner monologue and I hope it's amusing none the less. I'm still getting back into the swing of things, so please be patient! Leave your comments, compliments, and rants in the review section. If you hate me for not updating I don't blame you, I hate me to for it. On the upside during my break I did take some time to improve my writing a bit. Hopefully this isn't a total cringe fest for you. My left eye is still twitching from all that cringing I did when I read some of my older writings. Enjoy!

* * *

Mapleshade narrowed her eyes at a small white kit. The kit was bouncy and bright and active and Mapleshade absolutely hated it. She cringed at the sight of the joy twinkling in the kit's eyes. How revolting! And did you see the way the queen looked on fondly in pride? Mapleshade would've hurled if it wasn't for Tigerstar's persistance in this ridiculous quest. To be honest, Mapleshade still was unsure what was going on. All she knew was that she had to lead kits to Tigerstar so he could do his 'Ho ho ho' and 'what do you want for Christmas?' thing. More like 'Wo-ah-ah back the flap jack frick frack up before I deck the dens with your flesh you piece of insolent fox dung'. It was all she could do to keep her claws sheathed and a not so murderous look on her face as she fulfilled her duty.

You know what didn't help? The hats. They were sparkly, red, green, monstrosities to dignity of any cat. Want to know the absolute worst part? They jingled. Every paw step Mapleshade took there was a jingle bell chime sound as the hat shifted. A tingling moment of joy perfect for the cheer of the season maybe, but definitely not for Mapleshade's murderous attitude. She swore if she ever got the chance she'd rip the bells off and make dirt all over them. Then maybe she'd give one to a kit as a present, with a death berry inside. THAT was Mapleshade's kind of Christmas. Horror and death, not happiness and good will towards clans. If she had it her way there would be no Santa, no gifts, no joy, and certainly no carols.

Speaking of carols she was one more round of 'StarClan rest ye merry gentlekits' away from strangling Lionblaze with his own microphone. Lionblaze and several other clan toms had come together as a choir to ensure maximum annoyance, I MEAN Christmas cheer. They were all standing on a large tree trunk, arms/legs/? Wrapped around eachother and carton after carton of eggnog strewn about their paws. It was a miracle they could still stand on 4 legs, let alone sing those putrid songs. However Mapleshade wasn't complaining about their beverage. The more they drank the fewer songs there were, which was a bonus for here, but they made the songs drag out by burping or just singing so slowly. She told herself it would all be over soon and she'd have her revenge soon enough. There would be a special place in the Dark Forest for this band of cats, Mapleshade would ensure of that much to say the least.

"Jiiiingle BELCH…. Jingleeeee Bellssss…- UF!" She heard a loud yowl erupt from the tree as the group of toms was toppled over in their own egg nog state of mind. She winced a bit at the microphone screech but didn't turn to watch. She didn't want to see a single whisker. If she did she might just pounce for their throats. Not that she wouldn't have done that otherwise, but now she had a special reason. She allowed her lip to curl up in a twisted smile before turning to the kit.

"Are you ready to meet Santa Claus?" She snarled. The kit let out a terrified squeak and scurried away behind it's mother. Mapleshade let out a soft hiss of contentment. She'd show them all.

"I see you hate this as much as I do." Mapleshade heard a meow a turned to see a disgruntled Jayfeather behind her.

"If you hate this with the passion of a thousand dying suns, then yes." Mapleshade spat, lashing her tail.

"If you hate it that much..." Jayfeather continued making his voice low and almost inaudible. "I have a proposition for you..."

* * *

Okay, the end is neigh! Please, in the reviews answer the question of the day: What is your favorite thing about Christmas?

I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and the final installment, along with some much needed announcements will be coming soon!


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